Two days later...

School ended two days ago. Freshman year wasn't too bad. I had my ups and downs. I had my stress and my fun. There's so much I didn't post on here that happened. Maybe I should post it. The times of swimming and parties and tests and love. The times of giving up and giving in and waiting. But I'm not going to post those stories. Those are memories that will last a lifetime, memories that will always stay with me. Those are memories I'll keep to myself in my head. Re-live them through pictures and stories with other people. I'm not gonna post 'em. (sorry).

As I was reading through the things people said in my yearbook, I realized something. Though I may say I have no friends, I'm wrong. I DO have friends. So many of them. I've read so many messages from people telling me how awesome I am. One girl wrote,

"Thank you for being yourself all the time! You never try to be someone you're not and I really respect that about you!"

That just, made me smile. :) I DO strive to be someone who's not everyone else, no matter how many times people tell me to "be normal". Now I'm not trying to go into some educational lesson about not giving in to peer pressure or anything, nor am I trying to brag. I'm just saying, being myself is the best thing I can do. Not wearing the same clothes in a month and not wearing my hair the same twice isn't what it's all about. It's about how I've acted and reacted to the obstacles thrown in my way. It's about how I portray myself and what people think of me. I've changed SO much this year. My braces came off, I got bangs,  I've become a stronger dancer and a stronger person. I remember in elementary school and in middle school how I thought everyone judged me. I've realized how insecure I actually was. This year made me realize, nobody really cares. Nobody cares if you wear earrings for the first time or if you bring in a whole jug of chocolate milk to lunch. Nobody really cares if you tweet a thousand times a day or if you can dance your ass off. Nobody really cares about the little things on the outside, they care about the little things on the inside. Though I may have treated a few people like bullshit, and people have treated me like bullshit, I know that I don't care and they don't care. 

...I forget the point I'm trying to make but basically, what I'm saying, is that being myself is just better. This year I've learned a lot. I sure as fuck learned a  a lot about the Civil War and Shakespeare, but do I remember that stuff? Hell no! I've learned a lot about how people are and what to do and not to do. I've learned some vital life lessons, and I respect that.

This year has been just, crazy. The days went by slow, but the weeks and months went by like that *snap*. I did waste a lot of time doing nothing, thanks to the internet. But the times I wasn't on the internet were the best. Minus the stressful study sessions at midnight and the stupid drama that people pulled me in to, haha. Those times are the ones I'll remember and re-live. I don't have a best friend, but I do have friends. Many friends. Hopefully I can maintain those friendships and come back 30-some years later and re-live the moments. 

That's about it for my last post for Freshman Year. I'm officially now a Sophomore! I might have a Sophomore Year blog, but I can;t decide now. It's summer!

Oh and one more thing: Fuck all of you...

I love you guys!

Scott we need to hang..

~Alex[andra]

Last Week of School!

Wow. I just read through all of my posts. Sorry I haven't kept you guys updated every week or month. I've been so busy with school and auditions and...twitter..teh heh. Some CRAZY stuff has happened since my last post in March, which was a while ago.


Just to catch you guys up a lil' bit:

March- "It all started with a follow on Twitter." 
April- yeah i don't remember anything..
May- Art show! Nia, Maggie, and a bunch of my wonderful art buddies helped set up the art show. Let's just say we had fun over there at the middle school... ;)
Early June- I have knee problems. I went to the doctor and turns out i have Patella Femoral Syndrome. It's so painful. But I'm going to physical therapy now to help strengthen my knees. :)


Oh and Eliza showed me Chatroulette. It's seriously the best thing ever. It's hilarious, but a lil' creepy..And I've been keeping in touch with one of the normal guys i met on there. He lives in Michigan. ;) That's all i have to say about that..


Oh and remember my March post about my stupid English bullsh*t? Remember the kid i was telling the story to on Skype? Yeah. Just remember him, okay?
*winky face*


HOLY DINOSAUR BALLS!
The last day of school is TOMORROW! Thursday the 14th. It's a half day. All this week we've just took our finals and watching videos and stuff. I was planning on leaving school early a few days, but decided not to. 

(I probably haven't told you this..) But, I got accepted into the Pre-Professional Trainee Program at the Joffrey Ballet School in NYC! (Yes, the place Chloe from 'Dance Moms' is going to this summer.) Thousands of dancers audition across the country, and only about 50 get accepted. I got accepted. I. Got. Accepted. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance! If I would do it, I'd live in New York for all of my sophomore year. I'd go to cyber school (ew, I know), and be dancing ALL day. :) This is like, a dream come true. To dance year-round in NEW YORK CITY! My favorite place in the world! Everyone says I should go. It would look amazing on my resume. And dance would probably be what i go to college for...I don't know.
Anyway, my parents and I haven't made a final decision yet. But there IS a possibility that I will do the program. So, that's one of the reasons why I'm not skipping school this week..


Tomorrow is going to be bittersweet. I'm so friggin excited that I won't have to wake up at 5am or have to do homework and that it's gonna be summer! But, I'm gonna miss some of my classes that i had this year. :( I'm gonna be sad that freshman year is over, it just went by so fast! I can barely even remember April! Whatever, tomorrow is the last day. Just 3 hours of school, then I'm done. Done with school. Done with classes. Done with all the bullsh*t. Done with being a freshman. Bittersweet.


I'll post my final post after my last day of my Freshman Year. See you then..

The end of March. THE STORY.

Hello everyone, I KNOW it’d been more than 3 months, but this is the very long story in which why my phone got taken away. A lot of yinz guys have been wondering what happened…

Okay here's the story.

(This was in a Skype conversation with some dude. Cough Cough.) 

So last week in english class, we had to post comments and questions on our online book thing. Of course i was on my effin period

and i am SO SO SO bitchy when i have to do things i dont want to

anyway..

I was making comments like, ". I don't feel like looking up those words so I'm not going to give you an example for each one. Alright?"

"I'm actually just going to ramble on for the next six or seven comments and notes becasue this is really stupid and i want to get it done. "

and "Now i havent found that out but when i do, i will know why this is so important and then i will write down the answer on the reading guide and then i will not fail those stupid reading quizzes you make us do. "

My teacher said she knew that comment was directed to her personally. so she fliped a little.

AND..

"Now I don't feel like Google-ing this, but I think it would be very interesting if there WAS some sort of connection there."

AND

This one set her off: :For the fact that he needs four frickin people to tend to his stupid needs, is so greedy and selfish.  Seriously, if a five year old can feed himself chocolate, I'm pretty sure some old creep of some importance can feed himself chocolate to. What an asshat."

“. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YA GURL. I HATE HOMEWORK AND I HONESTLY THINK GIVING STUDENTS MORE AND MORE AND MORE CRAP TO DO AND MEMORIZE WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT HELP. YOU ARE NOT EDUCATING US, YOU'RE STRESSING US OUT. STOP. PLEASE."

Okay those were the main problems..

anyway,

My teacher said that she had always had a feel from me in class that "i didnt want to be there" and that "i did not care about anything"

She also thought i seemed like a rude and mean, negative person.

YEAH MRS. D I AM.

WHEN IM ON MY PERIOD.

ANYWAY

she told me she turned in the assignment to my guidance counselor, so they could have a record of my "inappropriate" and "disrespectful" behavior

ugh.

and she was all like, "I believe your behavior has been very poor for an honors student. I think you need to take a CP class next year instead of honors.  And if you act like this in all your classes, then take all CP classes."

 (This sounds better when im talking)

anyway and then she said,

"I am turning this in to Mr. Delp so he has a record of your behavior. I warn you that you are on his watchlist now and your actions from here on forward is going to be carefully watched."

GAH!

I was just trying to be nice and polite to her so i wouldnt get in even more trouble

but on the inside,

i wanted to scream and kick her and rip up that paper and cry and stab myself and go back in time and make myself not say those things.

Ugh and she gave me a zero on that thing. it was like 200 points or something,

SORRY IF I WAS ON MY PERIOD AND I WAS A BITCH AND SORRY IF YOU ASKED FOR OUR OPINIONS IN 900 CHARACTERS AND SORRY IF I ACTUALLY WAS HONEST AND OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK

So i can redo it

im fucked

im screwed

now that im telling you this story,

it actully doesnt seem so terrible anymore

wtf why am i telling you anyway

like you care.

UGHHHH                                                                                    

I need to go die.

No that's scary.

what if i did die?

People better care.

well not mrs. d because she hates me

why am i crying right now?

wtf im not on my period anymore

I HATE BEING A TEENAGER

FUCK THE WORLD

FUCK MY LIFE

FUCK HER

 FUCK THEM

 FUCK THE INTERNET

GAAAAAH

 im never going to be able to do fun things again

 le internet, gone.

 whatever.

fml

Ugh im so dead when my parents get home

And yesterday, my parents had a meeting with my teacher.  They came home, and were smiling. All they said was, “We had a good meeting with your teacher. It went very well.”

I didn’t ask what they talked about but whatever. Everything’s fine.

This was just another shitty incident of my Freshman Year.

I'll write more later. Sometime. 

I don't even friggin know what week it is. But it's the 2nd day of the 3rd quarter. ~ (Wednesday, Feb. 1, 2012)

Well the title explains what day/week it is.
I know, I know, I'm a bit behind on this blog. Well, more like, NINE JUNKIN WEEKS LATE.  I'm sorry. the 2nd quarter was so much fun. I already miss it. 


SECOND QUARTER CRAP I REMEMBER:


In Tech. Ed., I had Mr. Seybert, and we made these lil' airplanes and these hill-climb cars. Sad to say, but I honestly had fun. The airplanes were a bit of a pain to SAND and junk, and for the fact that Sara kept BREAKING MY WINGS..it took me a bit longer than everyone else to finish mine....The cars, oh my god, were such a fail. The first day our teacher was explaining what we'd be doing, Lindsay and Sara and I were just, CLUELESS.  Sorry, we had absulutely no idea what the hell a gear ratio was, what torque was, let alone what the frig we were to do....but hey, we made our cars and they turned out okay. OKAY?


In Algebra 2, my teacher is still nuts. Cullen got a 34% on his midterm! WHAT IS THIS CLAPTRAP.


Ha so in Social Studies, (we still have no junkin'  floor or ceiling or board or anything), we uh, did absolutely nothing. Haha but Tessa, Abby, Maggie, Myah and I get usually (would?) talk for the last 20 some minutes of useless time.  And our teacher is uh, not married, and uh, apparently has this 'thing' for another teacher in the building. (I think her name is Miss Taylor or something?) Anyway, she would always barge in in the middle of class and leave so stupid-ass love note on Mr. Florijan's desk. Ew. ANYWAY, one day Mr. Florijan was at a meeting, and wasn't in class for the first 2o minutes.  So, Miss Taylor asshatedly strolls in, KNOWING he'd not be there. She tells us what to do. We do it. Mr. Florijan walks in and is all like, "hey thanks for doing this babe."  EW!!!!!!!!
 Okay I can't go on.


Oh and there's no more gym. D: